I have been reflecting recently on the love and faithfulness of my mother, before Mothers day arrived even!. I have come to the conclusion that my mother who she has been and continues to me is a significant part of my overall wholeness and emotional healthiness. And that is not because of some perfect woman. No my mum was like us all as parents, we learn as we go, and we have our blindspots.. However I have realised she got the something very right and these things have only just come to me with this clarity as I have read several notes Mum has written and what she wrote on a card for our wedding recently.
Why is it that we don’t realise everything in one huge blob of understanding instead of the urrrrr duhhhhh! moments that punctuate your life as you come to simple significant understandings. The answer is of course obvious.
- We wouldn’t be able to cope with one huge dose of knowing and understanding, ourselves, others and the world around us.
- We may not have grown in our lives to a stage of being able to understand, want to understand or be worthy of understanding.
My mother has been wonderful all her life at letting her kids know how she feels about them, how she loves them and how God loves them, that we are all loved equally, that there are no favourites. My mother lives without a mask. And that is a rich heritage. She is not concerned about appearances, status or approval. She has lived a life that she knows is under the observance of God.
I realise in this moment of writing how valuable that really is. I hate pretense, and realise that I have lived in an open and honest home growing up, with all its faults and failings, that I have been loved by an open and honest mother. Perhaps that is why I place such value on being genuine and that the good parts of my self esteem I have to thank my mother for. I am 53 and have come to this understanding in the last week. I have so much to thank my mother for. I told her that on the phone the other day. I am lots of good things because of her. Thanks Mum. I love you heaps. I will be a better husband because of you and what you have taught me about love. 
